Wednesday, February 25, 2009


brandon: it was bullshit, they let two people in before me and this other lady who got there at the same time

me: fuckers

brandon: so we both complained and the receptionist said "uuhhhhh they had appointments"

me: NO!




brandon: yeah I was gonna ask when lent started

Friday, February 20, 2009

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

post secret

this is so sweet. 

my favorite kisses are always completely unexpected
the kind that catch my breath and make me blush.
they're quick,
and unapologetic

by the way....
my favorite kiss was in a little bar in mexico,
in the middle of a tiny dance floor. 
it was with a guy who came into my work every week to see me,
and by chance we ended up being neighbors for a year, 
but never really talked.
then i randomly saw him in mexico.
we were at a tiny reggae bar,
where he got me to dance,
then put his arms around me and kissed me.
i blushed and he said,
"no one saw."
and no one did. 

i still think of that kiss, 
and blush :)

Sunday, February 15, 2009


brandon: if I move to austin you can crash at my place anytime
me: YES
brandon: do you have an xbox yet
me: yeah i have the first one
brandon: haha
me: and a bunch of $5 games for it
brandon: awesome, you can come over, bring your xbox, bring your sega dreamcast, and bring your motorola startac cell phone from 2000 and it will be fun

my sister the federal prosecutor

my sister often throws away her son's art because his teachers "send him home with so much shit." my nephew later finds his artwork in the trash can, innocently asks her how it got there, then she pretends she doesn't know how, puts it up, and throws it away in another trash can later. i like to give her as much crap about it as i can. 

me: hey jules, i read one of our niece's books "franklin goes to school"..... it was odd... at school franklin makes his parents some drawings, and his mom doesn't throw them in the trash later. weird!

julia: don't judge me.

me: i'm just suggesting you don't let wylie read that one... he might get confused when he sees the art on the fridge instead of in various trash cans.

julia: shut it bitch.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

how to be more positive

i'm definitely taking steps to being a more positive person. i think the main factor is having too many negative people in my life. i'm also excited about meeting people with my same priorities and goals and positive outlooks. 

i told yesi today that i'm so thankful for her, jacob, and karla... they are such positive people and so understanding of what's going on in my life. i really appreciate how much they make me laugh, let me vent, have quiet evenings with me, and most of all support me. i love you guys :)

anyways, here's the article (from the positivityblog):

Realize that positivity isn’t something uncool, corny or stupid.

This is the first step and it can be quite a hurdle even though it may seem obvious. If you have been negative or a realist for many, many years then positivity can seem well, kinda stupid and naïve. Your mind and emotional habits are so ingrained that positivity seems a bit too foreign to accept.

However, to get this to work you will have to take a leap of faith. Because you can theorize about how stupid or practically useless a positive attitude may be for as long as you want. You won’t understand it until you just start using it. And to get it to work you can’t have half your mind protesting all the time and thinking that this won’t work.

Sure, you will have doubts about it and they will decrease when you start seeing some positive results in your life. But if you’re doubts are overwhelming then it will be like rowing forward with one hand and rowing backward with the other hand.

Decide that you will make this conscious change in your attitude. Or at least that you will ignore your doubts and just give it a try during the whole month of February.

Take care of the fundamentals.

This is for me the most important thing you can do to maintain and strengthen your positive attitude. How you eat, sleep and workout is huge factor. A good lifestyle, how you live your life on normal days determine how you feel and think.

For example, exercising and keeping my testosterone levels pretty high consistently – I do that by focusing on free weight exercises that target many and big muscle groups – is a very simple way to get a lot of positive emotions to flow through my body automatically. A good workout always seems to do the trick.

Positive influences.

Fill your mind and emotional system with positive input from people, music and programs/books. Other people’s thoughts have a big influence and emotions are contagious.

Limit your time with negative people. Reduce TV or magazines that may make you feel worse about what you don’t own or your body. Or just create fear and negativity within you (for instance a lot of news shows). Limiting negative influences can make it a lot easier to keep the positive attitude up.

Set the context for your day.

What you do early in the day often sets the context for your day. We have a tendency to want to be consistent with what we have done before. You can use that your advantage in few ways. You can for example do the hardest thing on your to-do list first. When it’s done you’ll feel good about yourself and it makes the day feel easier and you’ll have less inner resistance to getting the rest of the tasks of the day done.

Another example is to start your day of great socially by acting social (even if you don’t feel like it). This tends to make a normal day a lot more fun and positive than if you if you start out by being closed off and feeling guarded.

Act as you want to feel.

Act as if you are feeling positive. After a few minutes you will actually feel it for real. So smile. Use positive language. And so on. It feels weird at first but it really works.

Cut the negative threads of thought quickly.

Do it before you get stuck in them. If I go down a negative spiral of thoughts I quickly – within a minute or two – think “Hmm, negativity is stupid and won’t help me”. And then I choose to focus on the more positive aspects of whatever I’m thinking about or I start thinking about something else.

Reframe using questions.

I use questions like “What’s awesome about this situation?” and “Is this useful?” to get myself out of negative perspectives and shift my focus to more positive and useful aspects of anything.

Be present.

I write a lot about being present. One big reason for that is when you are present you are naturally feeling pretty awesome. You become positive, calm and fears you may have are greatly reduced. One way to reconnect with the present is simply to take 30 belly breaths and focus on your in and out-breaths.

Another is to just look at what’s right in front of you right now. Listen to the sounds around you. Feel the fabric of your clothes and focus on how they feel.


Sometimes you encounter negative thoughts or moods that you just can’t seem to be able to shake. When this happens – for instance in situations where you have little control, like when you are sick or waiting for your exam results – I use acceptance. By accepting how I feel I stop feeding more energy into the negativity. And so it often disappears or is at least reduced.

Take action.

Inactiveness, indecision and procrastination tend to create negativity. A good way to get around this common problem is to set that positive and active context for your day.

Do the right thing.

Indecision and doing what you know deep down is not right will create negative feelings and thoughts within. Do what you think is right and you will create a lot more positive feelings within.

A habit of gratitude.

Being grateful for all the things you have – health, roof, family, friends, opportunities, food etc. – is a great little tool to shift a negative mood to a positive one. It only takes a minute or two.

When you spend some time regularly to focus on all the good things in your life it also becomes natural to expect more good things to flow into your life. And what you expect from the world is often what you get.


I use guided mediations like Paraliminals, but any form of meditation seems to have positive effects on how you feel and think. A favourite of mine to gain a boost of positivity and eliminate negative thoughts and self-talk is the Self-Esteem Supercharger. I use various Paraliminals about four or five times a week right now.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

remember this:

i still have my favorite love note hidden in my wallet because i think it brings me luck. every time i open the little inside pocket to get my health insurance card, i see the light blue paper, remember the first time i found it on my doorstep after a long night of talking on my couch, and all the love that grew between me and my ex-boyfriend. this note reminds me of how important it is to be open to love, and not to forget all the little things that make a relationship special. 

Monday, February 9, 2009

more positivity

my friend nick sent this link to me this morning. it's a GREAT blog, with lots of positive thoughts:

Sunday, February 8, 2009

positive affirmations

"I am loving, creative, and intelligent. Choosing to see this and accept myself this way allows me to make positive changes in my life."

I'm at a crossroad in my life with a dear friend, and I'm not sure what to do about it. 

I'm frustrated.
I'm confused.
I'm exhausted

No crossroad is ever easy, especially with someone you love. You have the choice to keep going straight into the future, on the path that's led you to this point, or change direction and go someplace unpredictable. It's hard to let go and it's hard to keep going. 

I'm just keeping faith in myself and my abilities to make tough decisions. my main goal is to stay positive, and hope that the best decision stems from this positivity.

sharpie friends


paris sketches

come away with me

Come away with me in the night 
Come away with me 
And I will write you a song 

Come away with me on a bus 
Come away where they can't tempt us 
With their lies 

I want to walk with you 
On a cloudy day 
In fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high 
So won't you try to come 

Come away with me and we'll kiss 
On a mountaintop 
Come away with me 
And I'll never stop loving you 

And I want to wake up with the rain 
Falling on a tin roof 
While I'm safe there in your arms 
So all I ask is for you 
To come away with me in the night 
Come away with me 

~ Norah Jones



Friday, February 6, 2009


i'm SOOOO excited about dinner tonight with my girlies karla and yesenia! i always have so much fun with these girls and i'm thankful we've gotten so close in the past two years. we're all also part of a running club (HAHA okay maybe more like a get-in-shape-to-avoid-crying-in-the dressing-room-while-trying-on-bikini's club), and just knowing we're all together working on ourselves is incredible motivation. some days i won't feel like running and i'll hear that karla and yesi are going running so i'll go  just so they can't show me up :)

so supa coo yesenia pootie tang 

and karlita's guey... biggest puta i know :)

sushi and drinks tonight!!!! eeeee!!!!!! haha, and i just got a text from yesi saying the same thing! we're all excited! love you girls, have a good day at work!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

the juggernaut

i was looking through some old pictures, as i often do, and i found some ones of me and dave that CRACKED ME UP! i think everyone knows, but dave and i have been friends since our freshman year in high school. i remember riding around in his mom's car when he was the only one that could drive, listening to the chili peppers, and trying to find someone to buy us beer. we even didn't talk for 6 months (okay i didn't talk to HIM) because he tried to get to second base with me one new year's eve. HAHA. i  remember having a zelda marathon with him in college, the time he thought we were in a drive-by, "blurt", the PADRE TRIP where we COULD NOT keep it together, dave telling casey he's going to chop off his new rabbit's feet to make good luck key chains, locking dave out of his apartment because i "heard the cops coming to bust us man", and always always ALWAYS laughing until my face and stomach hurt. here are some of my favorite pics of us:

this one is pretty mild, at a coffee shop in austin. but we spent a lot of time like this in college.... wasted in an inappropriate setting, and laughing our asses off.  

sooooo classic! this was actually a video of us DANCING. dave paused the video on this frame and CUT IT OUT. this was his facebook profile picture for a long time. what an asshole! this still makes me laugh every time i see it!

the BABY BIRD. you can see beer still dribbling out of dave's mouth. hahaha. i love how everyone in the background is cracking up also. (if you don't know what baby birding is, it's disgusting and i'm sad for its existence). the picture before this was ME baby birding DAVE and him trying to stick his tounge in my MOUTH! i would have posted that one, but it grosses me out just looking at it! ewww!

this is the same night as this picture before.... but it really captures our friendship. we're usually in our own world, YELLING at each other, or hugging, or talking shit. i love that.  

ahhhh the mexico trip! this IS NOT a strip club, but there's still a stripper pole in the middle of the dance floor. we were just "fitting in with the locals," obviously. this is such a fun picture, especially because NO ONE else is dancing haha.

HAHAHA, busting in the door at my 22nd bday party!! this was SUCH a fun/crazy party, and we were completely out of control. i remember telling people to "try this WINE... it's called VAMPIRO". there was NO wine. i was carrying around bottles of ziegenbock. i feel like mig's thumbs up really makes the picture. 

aww dave, i love you sosososoSO much! i'm so happy you're back in austin! 

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

mahjong (hardest game EVER)

me: i think i've ONLY gotten super hard ones! my ENTIRE life.
nick: i can't even remember the one i used to play
nick: i think i downloaded it and found a key online to play it free
nick: im pretty much like a super awesome hacker
nick: they made a movie about me and it was called hackers

i love you zach

zach: your boobs rock worlds
zach: you're hard to keep off of
zach: the boobs are a huge part of that now and then


"So do boys and men announce their intentions. They cover you like a sarcophagus lid. And call it love."

- Middlesex


Kiran: what shoudl i be for halloween?
me: a ZOMBIE!
Kiran: need to be more clever tahn that
me: osama bin laden
Kiran: =terrible idea
me: a ZOMBIE


Victoria: youre welcome
for letting you in
i had a fence around my heart.. not just to keep people out . . .
but to see who cared enough to break it down and come in
so thank you
me: BAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my sister the federal prosecutor

julia: did you know butterfingers have peanut butter in them?
me: uh yeah... peanut BUTTER, BUTTERfinger....
julia: oh, i didn't think they did.
me: what did you think was in them??
julia: i don't know, butter.
me: BUTTER!?!? as in, a stick of?
julia: ALRIGHT... let's not get sassy.


this picture is so intimate and sexy and serene. i love it.

personality survey

according to (my MOM sent me this link… i guess she wants me to start dating again hahaha) i am a negotiator/explorer:

You see the big picture. You easily take the broad, long view of almost any topic. You are comfortable juggling myriad facts. You tend to synthesize material easily and think in webs of factors, not straight lines. You are imaginative and enjoy ideas.

You are also socially savvy. You are good at both talking and listening. And you generally read people’s faces, body postures and tone of voice accurately, so you often intuitively understand what people want and need.

You are also highly compassionate. You care deeply about others. So you are inclined to make personal sacrifices to be a supportive friend and colleague. And you are idealistic and altruistic; you like to work to improve the world.

And you have an adventurous side; you enjoy new ideas and novel experiences and you want to share these with an enthusiastic partner. But you are particularly fond of people who are direct, decisive, focused and tough-minded, people who complement your more flexible, agreeable and affable style.

As a Negotiator, you seek a spiritual, life long connection to a “true love”. But you don’t want someone who is emotionally dependent. You admire people who need a good deal of autonomy. Marriage is important to you; but the social pledge of matrimony is far less sacred than the personal commitment you privately make to your beloved. You avoid conflict and strive for harmony in your primary relationship. So you express your love regularly-with hugs, thoughtful presents, romantic weekends or by creating other special times together. And you want a mate who is daring, playful and adventurous, yet one who will balance you-someone who is calm, decisive, strong-willed, focused and supportive of your enthusiastic, caring and imaginative spirit.

You dislike conflict. You seek “win-win” solutions. You are good at sharing power and ideas. And you are a master at the art of intimacy-building deep and exciting relationships with others. Nevertheless, you often enjoy solitude or intense interactions with just one individual or a few close friends. And you particularly enjoy people who like to play with abstract theories and ideas, provide insights, search for symbolic meanings in life and relationships and have a broad interest in the world.


this is SOOOOOOOOO true about me, especially what i look for in other people! if you want to take it too, here’s the link:

i love you

“ 22. Katie has the greatest laugh ever. It puts a smile on my face every time I hear it."
- Chris Clements

this was SO SWEET and totally made my week :) i have the greatest friends!

You're the world to me

Started talking and the line went dead
Never heard a single word you said

Babe I said I’d give my right arm,
Every day that I decide on

Baby baby you’re the world to me

I woke up, the room was cold
Looking tired, feeling old
Cursin’ all the changes I’ve to say
The more I cursed into the flood
The less it seemed do me good
Clearer became my mind than I could say
Baby baby you’re the world to me

My head is roaring like a waterfall
Give me everything or not at all
You don’t have to turn the sound up
Babe I want you from the ground up
Baby baby you’re the world to me

Baby baby you’re the world to me

Baby baby you’re the world to me
Baby baby you’re the world to me

You don’t have to turn the sound up
Babe I want you from the ground up
Baby baby you’re the world to me

Iridescent like a starlet
Won’t you be my little darling
Baby baby you’re the world to me

Baby baby you’re the world to me
Baby baby you’re the world to me

~ David Gray

my favorite poem

Annabel Lee

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Edgar Allan Poe

at last

Finally. I’m not at rock bottom, fighting my way through a tunnel; I’m not halfway through the tunnel, barely able to see the light at the end; I’m not so close I can almost taste it…. I’m there. I’m at the end, standing in a field of light, facing endless possibilities in the distance.

I loved a man for so long. We broke each other’s hearts, and it’s taken me so long to let go of what happened, especially all the guilt I felt for the ways we hurt each other. It was a long, slow process of growing miscommunication, fueled by low self-esteem on both parts. For the record, he is a wonderful person. I will always love him and be thankful for everything he taught me; about putting family first, staying strong morally, and the importance of good work ethics. I will always admire what a strong person he is. I will always fondly remember the silly times we had, and his hilarious laugh. I will always wish him happiness and unconditional love, and hope he’s doing well. I will also always be sad he can’t be friends with me, because I don’t understand why. Maybe one day he’ll stumble on to this site, and if he does… Thank you for everything.

I am in such a good place right now, a place I created, alone, through damn hard work. It’s taken almost three years to get over my two year relationship, but it’s been so worth it. Now when I think about myself and my life I don’t get nervous or worried or feel crazy and insecure. I feel stable, strong. I feel so excited about where my life will take me. I feel like I can handle anything thrown at me. I feel independent and intelligent. I feel creative. I feel peaceful. I feel sexy, in a very pure and complete way. It’s been worth three years of constant work and self-reflection. I’ve surprised myself in ways I never thought I would. I discovered a new love for the person I am. And even though my heart is the last thing getting put back together, it’s all been worth it.

Thank you. To all the people who listened to me cry, who made me laugh, who believed in my journey, and who showed me love. Especially to me, for never giving up.

feminism quotes

I’m pretty opinionated about women. I think we’re capable of so many things, and constantly selling ourselves short. I could go on and on, but I really just wanted to post some good quotes I found:

” Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, ‘She doesn’t have what it takes.’ They will say, ‘Women don’t have what it takes.’

~Clare Boothe Luce

“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”

~Timothy Leary

“There are very few jobs that actually require a penis or vagina. All other jobs should be open to everybody.”

~ Florynce Kennedy

“When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t she behave like a nice man?”

~ Edith Evans

“Men define intelligence, men define usefulness, men tell us what is beautiful, men even tell us what is womanly.”

~ Sally Kempton

“Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

~ Pat Robertson

“We have to be careful in this era of radical feminism, not to emphasize an equality of the sexes that leads women to imitate men to prove their equality. To be equal does not mean you have to be the same.”

~ Eva Burrows

“I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat, or a prostitute.”

~ Rebecca West

“Does being a feminist mean that I believe that I’m as good as any man? Yes.”

~ Yasmine Bleeth

do it.

my new blog

it seems like EVERYONE is on blogspot, and i'm a HUGE follower, so i switched over :)

i've had kind of a crappy day, so i'm daydreaming about that picture. i love sunflowers and sunshine and blue skies.